My World

Just a place for my thoughts and views…..

Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category

A Love Letter to Me

leave a comment »

This love letter is to myself, to my body, to my inner self which is going through a turmoil. 😛

Dear Me

First of all very sorry for putting you in great pain for last 6 months – the physical and the emotional stress that you have been put through. I have been desperately trying to take you out of this situation but in this desperation I think I have been hurting you more and even others in your vicinity.

I love you and have started to understand you much better. I have been constantly learning for last few months and have been focusing all my attention towards you. I am making mistakes on this journey and its good that I realize my mistakes. I think I am knowingly making most of them to get attention 😛 . I know you need lots of love, care, space, time and understanding at the moment and no advices.

You are unique. You are not perfect but you are open to learn and grow which is the best thing that you possess. You have a big, open heart which has love for everyone except for few like Narendra Modi and few more :P.  But sometimes you behave like a kid who wants to grab all the attention.  I need to communicate with you regularly and scold you like a parent for being a over demanding child and also praise you for being a good child.

Thank you for the inner strength, determination and positive thinking that you possess. Lets be in harmony and lets take the path ahead together with love with few bumps and rough roads :).

Love You

 

Written by Priyanka Varma

May 9, 2014 at 6:18 am

Posted in Feelings, General

Tagged with ,

The Gift !!!

with 12 comments

“Thank you Sister” were the words of an 11 year old girl named Abhirami.  I couldn’t guess what the words were for and asked her. “I got an A grade and my sister got A+ grade in English. Thank you Sister!!! “. And just a day before that I was pondering on the question “Is it really helping with what or how we are doing with the kids “. I am not sure whether her grade was a direct result of our teaching as I am not even aware of last year result. But the words were enough to motivate you.

And 2 days after that when I went to the place (Desire Society) she was again there telling me in Kannada ” Sister I want to learn more and more English. Also teach me Hindi” and there she came with an English story book and Hindi notebook ready to learn everything. The way she told reflected her crave for learning.

The change might be slow and gradual but there was a change – an interest kindling to learn something, a curiosity to know more about things around them.

This gift was not enough for the day. There was another gift also which I received from a 4-year old girl Ganga. As soon as I had entered the gate she seemed to be waiting for me and called me “Sister Banni(Kannada word for Come)”. I followed her small footsteps and she sat on the stairs asking me to sit. And gave me a flower carefully wrapped in a piece of paper and an Eclairs with a white piece of cloth calling it a handkerchief. Another Smile for the day :).

🙂

May be I am not able to express my feelings in my words. But sometimes when not everything is going good with you or you are not satisfied with what you are doing the small things like this give you a smile on your face and the motivation which you need to move ahead.

Written by Priyanka Varma

April 18, 2011 at 6:33 am

Is it a Miracle?

with one comment

The heartbeat stopped , the pulses dropped, the body becomes blue. The doctor declares that the person is no more. 10 minutes later some movement observed as if struggling back to life. Doctors in action but still having no hopes and says “Only a miracle can happen”.  2 days without much hopes and now after 2 days a ray of hope. Is it a miracle or medical expertise or the person willpower. Whatever it is I pray for your well being.

Though I am not there with you but for last 2 days I have been feeling restless and worried getting the updates on phone only.  I don’t believe in God worship but somehow it naturally happened that I was just praying that you be all well. Some people  need you, need you to be with them.

Written by Priyanka Varma

November 25, 2010 at 6:52 am

Posted in Feelings

Tagged with ,

Love into Action

with one comment

Staying around 2500kms away from my parents for the last 6 years, have been used to doing everything on my own without being dependent on my parents. But still I take their opinion in all my decisions, share my happiness and my sorrows with them. I have a conscious feeling always in my mind that there is someone for me , someone who will be always supporting me. Sometimes I feel they could be here with me in my happiness, my sorrows.

But what about those small kids whose parents have died or whose parents have left them alone in this world to lead their life on their own. I cherish my childhood when I think about these kids. I had a happy, free childhood with my parents taking care of me, my education, my health, my needs etc. No worries, No tensions.

Recently I got a chance to go to an orphanage “Anatha Shishu Sevashram” in wilson Garden, Bangalore through Pankhudi. The orphanage is run by an elderly lady Saraswati madam who herself is visually challenged.( She
is the first student of SRMAB where Pankhudi has started their initiative of teaching computer and english course to the kids.) This orphanage houses around 60 kids aged between 5 years to 25 years. The owner of the orphanage takes care of their schooling, food and other needs with the donations she receives from some of the people. We met these kids and they looked so happy playing with each other, dancing. They all had a sweet smile on their face hiding all the hardships they have to face.

The kids here are very much creative. Enter their room and you will see some beautiful paintings on the walls. Paintings of a tiger with all intricate details , Hanuman flying towards the Sun(the expression of the sun in the painting is amazing) – These are few of the paintings there are on their walls.  Some of them are good in dancing. We also got a chance to see their acting skills. Some of them are brilliant actors full of expressions and good dialog-delivery skills.

We hope to give them a better future and so we at Pankhudi Bangalore has decided to organize computer courses and personality development courses. Looking at their creativeness, we have planned to expose them to few of the software tools which may help them in putting down their creative ideas into a presentable way and showcase it to the outside world. Anyone of you out there can give in your ideas how we can help them or are free to help out can contact bangalore@pankhudifoundation.org .

We can’t be their parents but atleast we can try to give the love and support as we have got from our parents. There is no time to just watch and feel sorry but its time to put our “Love for them into Action” .

Written by Priyanka Varma

July 9, 2009 at 6:00 am

2days/3nights Stay!!!

with 8 comments

2day/3nights stay, not in Taj or Oberoi or any deluxe hotels but in a train from Bangalore to Guwahati . Checked in with my bag and baggage at around 10:45pm on 14th Dec. to find that all my neighbors,infact almost everyone having paid the rent for the stay was Assamese. The signal goes green and the everyone after arranging their luggage and chattering with their mates gets prepared to go to their bed. Lights off and people are snoring, college students chatting but no adavantage of overhearing them. Why the hell no Non-Assamese going to Guwahati except me??

Wake up call by the chai-wallah, coffee-wallah, newspaper-wallah and you have to leave your nice, comfortable bed and freshen up yourself to start a new and exciting day ahead. Now people start getting familiar with other fellow travellers and getting excited to find someone from their own locality or college. It seemed to me that Guwahati is a very small place. You may be wondering how could I understand Assamese. I catched the english words and some words similar to Bengali in their conversation. and May be by the end of my stay, I would be able to understand Assamese too. 🙂 .Seems not very much difficult.

Now let me make you familiar with my 7 neighbours – A one-year old married couple , a boy and a girl who seemed to me as a couple initially who had just started with their professional life like me(the girl looked to be very stubborn but turned out to be a nice gal), two college guys and a mast chinki gal. They having a nice talk with each other with almost everyone discussing on the most common topics – food, traffic, IT life, hang-out places in Bangalore and taking notice of me that I was trying to make out what they were talking about. Me being too reluctant in getting into the discussion and making their tongue switch from the Assamese to Hindi/English, the married couple took the initiative to include me into the gang. Exchanged some basic information about each other – profession, college, family history, staying place and all one could talk about oneself. The couple had brought nice home food – puri and pickles. Delicious!!!!!

Spent the first day chatting with each other on all topics – from daily life issues to elections in Gujarat to disturbance in Guwahati to situation in Pakistan. The college guys having fun in between flirting with the chinki with we having fun pulling their legs. It didn’t seem as if we didn’t know each other. Sometimes they would start talking in Assamese and realizing that even I was there, they would switch to Hindi. Didn’t realize how time passed and it was time to go off to sleep. Wishing goodnight we were off to our bed with the temperature getting lower as our moving lodge was approaching north.

The morning was a foggy one with we having reached West Bengal. All of us were waiting for home made food which the couple’s relatives were planning to bring for them at Kolkatta station. So we had biryaani, pulao, puri, rasogulla, samosa in breakfast and lunch. After having a nice lunch, we made our small staying place a theater with a guys laptop playing a documentary movie “Riding Solo to the Top of the World”. It was a nice film about the solo motorcycle journey of the filmmaker to Ladakh with he himself as the cameraman. Actually the couple had plans of going on a bike trip to Arunachal Pradesh for 10 days. Feels so exciting and adventurous.

It seems as if people find their journey to be incomplete without antakshari. So finally we also planned to play but it was mostly dominated by Assamese songs. My neighbors now treated me like a foreigner. They told me about Assamese culture, food, scenery,hang out places in Guwahati. They were so happy to tell about their place to someone. They also sang some nice Bihu songs for me. I couldn’t understand the words but still I could enjoy the music and recorded some of them. It was already very late but seemed that none of us wanted to go to sleep and even the couples’ stoppage was at 4am. So we planned to play card games. I had never played card games but I learned one game(Can’t remember the name). It seemed we had become good friends – exchanged our contact numbers promising to be in contact and meet on reaching back to Bangalore. Can’t believe I was on a night-out for people who were strangers two days ago. As everyone’s stoppage came we bid goodbye. All were so much concerned for me, as I had come to Guwahati alone and also for the first time and when situation there was not good, that they even called me up the next day to confirm that I had reached safely to my destination.

It was totally a nice and a new experience for me. First time enjoyed my train journey so much. Was looking forward to have same experience like this on my return journey but all in vain. Seems some experiences occur only once. Signing off with some nice memories. Hoping to be in contact with my train friends.

Written by Priyanka Varma

January 1, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Posted in Feelings, life, travel

Tagged with , ,

A Walk down the Memory lane

with 7 comments

Was taking a walView of the place at nightk yesterday night after a long time around the college campus. Though it was a solitary walk enjoyed it recollecting all the beautiful memories of the past four years of college. Sorry but this post is not to bore with you all those nostalgic talks. May be that I can do in my next post.

Walking around the campus in the night had become a part of the daily routine till last summer with my friend. Remembering those moments really makes me nostalgic when we used to do all types of bakar sitting on one of the S-shaped seats besides the road. We talked everything sitting here – from sharing funny incidents, serious talks to discussing projects. I have developed a strong emotional attachment for this place – whenever i used to feel lonely or had a fight with my friend, I used to come and sit on this place.View of the place during day

Sitting there after a long time yesterday, I walked down the memory lane – such sweet memories , felt like its been years to those moments. It’s so funny how some non-living things can trigger images, thoughts, emotions. I can close my eyes right now and find myself one year down the lane again sitting with my friend and chatting. Will really miss this special place after I leave this college.

[Image Source : DC++ ]

Written by Priyanka Varma

April 3, 2007 at 5:50 pm

Posted in da-iict, Feelings, life

Live life fully!!!

with 3 comments

Never had the urge to earn more and more money as some of my colleagues in my college. Almost all appeared for CAT and other MBA exams…Why MBA??? Reason: Want to earn a lot of money for a very comfortable, secure life..Very few would be really wishing to do management because they want to do it. Was adviced by many around me to go for it because everyone else was doing and a BTech degree holder’s salary would not be sufficient to have a life full of comforts. But no money didn’t attract me much even after I come from not much financially well background. I have my own plans and priorities in my life(may be I will tell you about it next time).

The question is “Why people run after money and want to do what the crowd is doing? Why can’t they take a decision on the basis of their interests and capabilities?” If everyone tries to do what they really want to do and what they are good at, there will be more efficiency. We don’t spend much time on ourselves to know about our capabilities and our interests. It will be good if we think before planning our future and deciding our priorities in life.

Living life based on our personal priorities is needful because we will be doing more of what we want and need to do. Life is meant to be lived fully and we can achieve this only if we make conscious decisions about our future based on our priorities.

Written by Priyanka Varma

February 3, 2007 at 5:01 pm

Posted in Feelings